Stay With Me
by olivesnooks
Summary: "Go. But I don't want to see you leave anymore. I won't even look back. I can't stand seeing you go anymore." After Clara walks away from Marina, Marina get's drunk and ends up sleeping with Vanessa. But what happens with Clara walks in and finds out? ONE-SHOT.


**A/N: **I've had the idea for this story since I first heard Sam Smith's 'Stay With Me' months ago, because I think the song nicely describes how Marina feels about Vanessa and their relationship. But please note, this is **not** a story about Marina and Vanessa, it just stems from their sort of co-dependent relationship. I do not own these characters or the song, all credit goes to Manoel Carlos and Sam Smith.

* * *

_Why am I so emotional?  
No, it's not a good look, gain some self-control  
And deep down I know this never works  
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt_

* * *

Marina felt a body sleepily roll into hers as she lay in bed. For an instant, she felt a rush of joy sweep through her body, but waves of disappointment and regret quickly replaced it. The naked body currently pressed into hers wasn't Clara's, and memories of the night before flashed through her mind like a silent horror film.

The red head was still asleep, and Marina did not want to wake her, but she knew she had to get out of that bed. To run away from what she had just done, to hide and pretend this never happened. Vanessa's legs, which intertwined with her own, made it difficult, but eventually Marina managed to untangle herself and silently slip out of the assistant's embrace and the bed.

Standing unsteadily, Marina realised she too was naked. Scanning the room for her robe, she noted a mixture of her and Vanessa's clothes scattered on the floor and an empty bottle of wine. She felt sick to her stomach, and urgently needed to wash away last night from her conscious.

Padding quietly across the floor, Marina reached the bathroom and locked herself inside. She turned on the shower and let the hot water stream over her body. It was too hot, but she didn't care. Leaning against the tiled wall, her body slowly slipped until she reached the floor. With her knees brought up to her chest and burning water pouring down her back, Marina was alone with her thoughts.

She had hoped the water would distract her, but it was just intensifying everything. Every boiling drop of water that hit her back reminded her of Vanessa's touch. But her pounding head quickly reminded her it wasn't Vanessa's fault. _She _was the one who drank too much, and _she_ was the one who invited Vanessa into her bed. She knew Vanessa was still in love with her, and she knew what would happen when she extended the invite, but she did it anyway. Because she was hurt, and she needed someone to comfort her.

No, not _someone_. She needed Clara. She wanted Clara. But Clara was the reason she was hurting, because Marina knew Clara loved her. _Loves_ her. But she also knew Clara wouldn't leave Cadu, and she was still using him as an excuse to fight her feelings.

Sitting crumpled on the floor of the shower, Marina forced herself to relive the dinner she had with Clara only hours before, although it felt like a whole lifetime ago.

_"When? I just want to know when. When we will get to live all this that we feel?" Marina spoke, breaking the silence._

"_It's hard for me. So hard."_

"_I know it's hard–" Marina started, before Clara cut her off._

"_I know it's hard for you too, but you don't have anyone pressuring you. Fine, Vanessa is afraid of losing you, but it's different with a husband and son."_

"_No wait. I completely understand the thing with Ivan. But a husband? Vanessa?" Marina gestured her head, perturbed, before continuing. "For what I can say, jealous feelings between two women can be ever more intense than between a man and a woman."_

"_I never thought of it like that", Clara said. _

_Nodding, Marina continued speaking, "Yes, and you know that when a woman feels jealous, she really feels it. Very strongly." Marina sighed dejectedly. "When love is lost, then… there's nothing that can comfort it. Maybe a bigger love, but… you know that love like this you can't find everywhere." _

"_I need to go." Clara eventually spoke, looking at her watch._

_Marina looked down, tears already welling. "Go. But I don't want to see you leave anymore. I won't even look back. I can't stand seeing you go anymore."_

"_Bye."_

"_Bye", Marina replied, visibly hurt, but true to her word she didn't watch as Clara left. She picked up her wine glass and let her tears fall freely._

The memory hurt as much as it did the first time, and Marina was grateful to the shower for washing away her tears.

_Vanessa found Marina still on the floor of the studio crying nearly a full hour after Clara left; two empty wine bottles next to her. Swiftly, and without asking questions, she helped Marina to her feet and supported her to the bedroom, where she effortlessly put Marina to bed. But as Vanessa was turning to leave, Marina reached out her hand and pulled her back. _

"_I don't want you to leave. Will you hold my hand?"_

Marina couldn't think about what happened next. Every inch of her body felt guilty, she had betrayed Clara and given Vanessa false hope. She didn't know which was worse, but she knew she could potentially lose both of them as a result.

Through the shower door Marina heard a noise coming from bedroom. Immediately the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach returned. Vanessa was awake. Marina would have to deal with the repercussions of her drunken night. Turning the shower off and wrapping herself in a towel, she opened the bathroom door.

Marina looked towards the bed and saw Vanessa was still asleep, but hovering just above her, a shocked look on her face, was Clara.

Their eyes met across the room. Clara had obviously worked out, from the clothes, underwear and naked Vanessa, what had happened, and hurt was etched across her face. Both women stood there for a minute, water droplets dripping from Marina's wet hair, before Clara turned and ran out the open bedroom door.

* * *

_Go. But I don't want to see you leave anymore. I won't even look back. I can't stand seeing you go anymore._

Marina's words haunted Clara. She had waited behind Marina in the studio, hoping she would turn around. Needing her to turn around, to know she hadn't broken their relationship beyond repair. But Marina did not.

The words were all she could think about as she walked to her car, and they hung ominously in the air the entire drive home. It was late, almost midnight, by the time she reached the apartment, and she was relieved to see that both Cadu and Ivan were asleep. She didn't want to deal with either one of them at the moment.

Taking a blanket and pillow from the wardrobe, Clara lay down on the couch. She was exhausted, but when she shut her eyes all she saw was Marina's image. The image that would usually bring her so much joy. But not this time. Burned into her eyelids, she saw Marina's small figure sitting alone on the floor of the studio, crying.

From the second she left, Clara regretted it. She wanted, more than anything, to hold Marina in her arms and to kiss her lips. To take away her pain and tell her she loved her. Because she did love her, more than anything. But she had held back, out of respect for the man currently sleeping next to their son.

Clara knew her love for Cadu had changed; it was still there, but in a different form. It was a love based on ten years of respect and a shared son, but it was no longer romantic. She had fought internally with this for a long time, hoping what she felt for Marina would go away. But with each passing day, her love for Marina and arguments with Cadu grew.

Lying on the couch unable to sleep, Clara thought of the past ten years. Cadu was a good man, a wonderful father, and she had been happy with him. And she knew that if she hadn't met Marina, they would probably still be together. But she also knew that Marina hadn't stolen her from Cadu, she had simply shown Clara that what she knew to be happiness could be better described as routine.

Life with Cadu had been safe, she was a wife and a mother and that was it. And for ten years Clara thought that made her happy, but the moment she met Marina, Marina showed her there was more to life. That Clara didn't answer to Cadu, and before she was his wife or Ivan's mother, she was her own person. But more than that, Marina saw Clara's potential, potential that Clara didn't even know she had. Marina gave Clara a job, she gave her independence and when she saw Clara's interest in photography, she encouraged it. Marina believed in her, and in doing so, she showed Clara that it was alright to go after your dreams and do what makes you happy.

A noise from the kitchen woke Clara from her thoughts. Cadu was out getting a drink, and when he noticed she was awake, he spoke.

"You know you could sleep in bed with your husband. I am still your husband right? Even if you don't tell me where you go to at night, all dressed up. We're still married, I'm still the head of this house and you still answer to me."

Clara didn't want to start another fight, but when she heard the last words escape his mouth, she couldn't stay quiet.

"Yes Cadu, we are still married, for now. But I do not answer to anybody, be it you or anyone else in this family."

Cadu scoffed, "I bet you answer to that little girlfriend of yours, the one who turned your head. That's where you were tonight, wasn't it? Probably in her bed, answering to her and breaking your marriage vows."

"Carlos Eduardo," Clara said, rising from the couch angrily, "as you have already pointed out, you are still my husband and thus I am still your wife, AND YOU WILL RESPECT ME, DAMN IT!" She slammed her hand down on the coffee table, making a loud noise that reverberated through the house.

"And as for where I was", she said, advancing on him with one had on her hip and the other extended in a point, "yes, I was with Marina. She has a name, and she is not my girlfriend… yet. We weren't having sex. I have not cheated on you, Carlos Eduardo, and you don't know me at all if you think I have. So I will thank you to stop accusing me."

"Yet." Cadu repeated, processing the words. "You defend this too well, it looks rehearsed. Have you just been waiting for me to get better so you can leave me for her with a clear conscience? I bet you and her have been planning exactly what you would say, how you would do it. Don't you see how she has weaselled her way into our lives and manipulated you?"

"It is past midnight. I will not have this discussion with you right now. But I will say this for the last time, and I want you to listen. Marina did not manipulate me, any developments in our relationship occurred because we both wanted it." Clara turned away from him and started back towards the couch. "Go back to sleep, Cadu."

Cadu was almost out of the room when Clara heard him say, "You weren't a dyke before she came along."

"What I am or am not", Clara replied calmly, "is not your concern."

She heard him shuffle off down the hall and exhaled deeply. Everything in her life was a mess, and yet there was always that one constant, that one fixed point she always found herself returning to. Marina.

Despite everything running through her head, exhaustion soon got the better of her and Clara fell asleep. The next morning when she woke up, the house was empty. Cadu must have had the good sense to avoid another confrontation, especially in front of Ivan, and decided to take him to school early on his way to the bistro.

Alone in the apartment, Clara made her decision. She needed to see Marina, to fix everything, to try.

She arrived in Santa Teresa a little before 9am. Clara knew Marina would probably still be asleep, so she let herself in and headed straight to her bedroom. As she approached Marina's bedroom door though, Clara heard the shower running. She thought it strange given the early hour, but she pushed open Marina's door anyway, deciding she would wait on Marina's bed for her.

Immediately upon entering, Clara knew something was wrong. The room smelled heavily of alcohol and there were clothes strewn everywhere. There was also a body in Marina's bed.

As Clara approached Vanessa's sleeping frame, she heard the shower stop. She was hovering over the red heads snoring face when Marina's towel clad body emerged from the bathroom.

They made eye contact. Clara felt a stabbing in her gut. Logically she knew Marina didn't have to be celibate or wait around forever… but she had always just expected Marina would wait as long as she needed. But seeing Vanessa naked in her bed, after a night of obvious passion, it hit Clara to her core. She needed to get out, to leave Marina's bedroom and run.

Breaking eye contact, she bolted through the open door and down the corridor. Behind her, she heard Marina's footsteps chasing her.

"Clara," she called out desperately, "please Clara, wait."

* * *

The knot in Marina's stomach loosened ever so slightly when she saw Clara stop running. Slowly, Clara began to pivot on the spot until she was facing Marina, allowing Marina to see she was crying. The knot tightened again.

Standing no more than a metre from Clara now, Marina was frozen. She didn't know what she could say to make it better, she didn't know if she should reach out and touch her, or if that would make it worse. Looking down at her hands and then back up, she was about to open her mouth when Clara cut her off.

"I should have called. I shouldn't have barged into your house like I did… I didn't know you were back together." Her voice was flat and sadness filled her eyes.

"No, we're not back together, it was a mistake… I–"

"You don't need to explain," Clara said, "you don't owe me anything. You're an adult; you can sleep with whomever you want. We are not a cou…" Her voice trailed off.

Marina felt the pain in Clara's voice, "Please, let me explain. After last night, I never thought I'd see you again. And I was so upset, because I thought we were finally going to be able to live everything we feel…" She shook her head, "I shouldn't have done it, I should have waited."

"I never expected you to wait for me."

"Yes, you did. And I expected me to, too. I know it's not an excuse, but I was drunk and devastated. And Vanessa was there and she offered me comfort, but I regretted it the second I woke up. Because she wasn't what I wanted… who I wanted. She was just there, she was convenient. Which is a horrible thing to say about my best friend, but it's true."

Slowly, Marina reached for Clara's hand. "Clara, I love you. I love you so much. I've loved you since the moment I first met you at my exhibition. But last night… last night I thought I lost you and I did the stupidest thing humanly possible. I know I will never be able to make it up to you, but please know, I am so unbelievably sorry. I truly am."

"Marina," Clara spoke, looking into her eyes for the first time that morning, "I came here to apologise to you for how I left last night. So I won't lie, seeing Vanessa in your bed hurt. But it also made me realise something… that I haven't been fair to you. I've been making you wait since the minute we met. I knew how you felt towards me, and I how I felt towards you, but I've been too scared of losing my comfortable little life to do anything about it.

"You had every right to be angry at me, and I have no right to be angry at you. We are not a couple, and you don't owe me any loyalty. But I do owe you something… the truth."

Marina felt the knot in her stomach tighten even further. She watched as Clara took a deep breath, steadied herself, then spoke.

"I love you, Marina. I fought so hard against that for so long, but I love you. You make me believe in myself and you've helped me discover who I am as a woman and all my potential. When I'm with you, I feel like I can do anything. You have never once made me feel anything less than incredible."

Clara felt a weight lift from her shoulders; it was freeing to finally say everything she felt. She smiled as she looked into Marina's eyes, and saw a smile mirroring her own. Without overthinking it, she closed the gap between them.

Marina's lips were soft against hers, and she could feel her smiling into it. It was slow at first, both women enjoying the sensation of the others lips against their own. But as Clara raised her hand to cup Marina's cheek, she felt Marina's tongue against her lips, asking for entry. For which she gladly allowed. Marina pulled her closer, longing for their bodies to touch as she deepened the kiss. Clara responded accordingly, sighing slightly. Marina's hand had managed to slip under Clara's shirt when they broke apart.

"Wow!" Clara spoke, breathlessly.

"Wow!" Agreed Marina, looking into Clara's eyes and watching a smile spread back to her cheeks.

"I love you, Marina."

"I love you, too", Marina smiled, before extending her hand towards Clara, "So, stay with me?"

Clara knew everything in her life would change from this moment on, but she also knew she had to take the risk. Almost everything in her life was uncertain, but one certainty was that she couldn't live without Marina, so with a mixture of nervousness and joy, she reached out and intertwined their fingers.

A soft smile spread to Marina's lips as she whispered, "'cause you're all I need."


End file.
